THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

Act 4 Scene 4

(Enter Antipholus of Ephesus with the Officer)
l1l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	 Fear me not, man, I will not break away.
l2l		I’ll give thee ere I leave thee so much money
l3l		To warrant thee as I am ’rested for.
l4l		My wife is in a wayward mood today,
l5l		And will not lightly trust the messenger
l6l		That I should be attached in Ephesus.
l7l		I tell you ’twill sound harshly in her ears.
		(Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope's end)
l8l		Here comes my man. I think he brings the money.—
l9l		How now, sir? Have you that I sent you for?
l10l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
l11l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	But where’s the money?
l12l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
l13l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
l14l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
l15l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
l16l	Dromio Of Ephesus	 To a rope’s end, sir, and to that end
l17l		am I returned.
l18l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	 And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
		(He beats Dromio)
l19l	Officer	 Good sir, be patient.
l20l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Nay, ’tis for me to be patient: I am
l21l		in adversity.
l22l	Officer	Good now, hold thy tongue.
l23l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Nay, rather persuade him to hold his
l24l		hands.
l25l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
l26l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I would I were senseless, sir, that I
l27l		might not feel your blows.
l28l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Thou art sensible in nothing but
l29l		blows, and so is an ass.
l30l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I am an ass indeed. You may prove
l31l		it by my long ears.—I have served him from the hour
l32l		of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
l33l		hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
l34l		heats me with beating. When I am warm, he cools me
l35l		with beating. I am waked with it when I sleep, raised
l36l		with it when I sit, driven out of doors with it when I
l37l		go from home, welcomed home with it when I return.
l38l		Nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her
l39l		brat, and I think when he hath lamed me I shall beg
l40l		with it from door to door.
		(Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan, and a schoolmaster called Pinch)
l41l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	 Come, go along: my wife is coming yonder.
l42l	Dromio Of Ephesus	(to Adriana)
		 Mistress, respice finem—
l43l		respect your end—or rather, to prophesy like the parrot,
l44l		“Beware the rope’s end”.
l45l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	 Wilt thou still talk?
		(He beats Dromio)
l46l	Courtesan	(to Adriana)
		 How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
l47l	Adriana	His incivility confirms no less.—
l48l		Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer.
l49l		Establish him in his true sense again,
l50l		And I will please you what you will demand.
l51l	Luciana	Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
l52l	Courtesan	Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy.
l53l	Pinch	(to Antipholus)
		 Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
l54l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
		(He strikes Pinch)
l55l	Pinch	 I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
l56l		To yield possession to my holy prayers,
l57l		And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
l58l		I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
l59l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
l60l	Adriana	O that thou wert not, poor distressèd soul.
l61l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	You minion, you, are these your customers?
l62l		Did this companion with the saffron face
l63l		Revel and feast it at my house today,
l64l		Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
l65l		And I denied to enter in my house?
l66l	Adriana	O husband, God doth know you dined at home,
l67l		Where would you had remained until this time,
l68l		Free from these slanders and this open shame.
l69l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Dined at home?
		(To Dromio)
		 Thou villain, what sayst thou?
l70l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
l71l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Were not my doors locked up, and I shut out?
l72l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Pardie, your doors were locked, and you shut out.
l73l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	And did not she herself revile me there?
l74l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
l75l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
l76l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Certes she did. The kitchen vestal scorned you.
l77l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	And did not I in rage depart from thence?
l78l	Dromio Of Ephesus	In verity you did. My bones bears witness,
l79l		That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
l80l	Adriana	(aside to Pinch)
		 Is ’t good to soothe him in these contraries?
l81l	Pinch	(aside to Adriana)
		 It is no shame. The fellow finds his vein,
l82l		And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
l83l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	(to Adriana)
		 Thou hast suborned the goldsmith to arrest me.
l84l	Adriana	Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
l85l		By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
l86l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Money by me? Heart and good will you might,
l87l		But surely, master, not a rag of money.
l88l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Went’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
l89l	Adriana	He came to me, and I delivered it.
l90l	Luciana	And I am witness with her that she did.
l91l	Dromio Of Ephesus	God and the ropemaker bear me witness
l92l		That I was sent for nothing but a rope.
l93l	Pinch	(aside to Adriana)
		 Mistress, both man and master is possessed.
l94l		I know it by their pale and deadly looks.
l95l		They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
l96l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	(to Adriana)
		 Say wherefore didst thou lock me forth today,
l97l		(To Dromio)
		 And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
l98l	Adriana	I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
l99l	Dromio Of Ephesus	And, gentle master, I received no gold.
l100l		But I confess, sir, that we were locked out.
l101l	Adriana	Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.
l102l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,
l103l		And art confederate with a damnèd pack
l104l		To make a loathsome abject scorn of me.
l105l		But with these nails I’ll pluck out those false eyes,
l106l		That would behold in me this shameful sport.
		(He reaches for Adriana; she shrieks.)
l107l		Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives
	Adriana	 O, bind him, bind him. Let him not come near me.
l108l	Pinch	More company! The fiend is strong within him.
l109l	Luciana	Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks.
l110l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	What, will you murder me?—Thou, jailer, thou,
l111l		I am thy prisoner. Wilt thou suffer them
l112l		To make a rescue?
	Officer	Masters, let him go.
l113l		He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
l114l	Pinch	Go, bind his man, for he is frantic too.
		(They bind Dromio)
l115l	Adriana	 What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
l116l		Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
l117l		Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
l118l	Officer	He is my prisoner. If I let him go,
l119l		The debt he owes will be required of me.
l120l	Adriana	I will discharge thee ere I go from thee.
l121l		Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
l122l		And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.—
l123l		Good Master Doctor, see him safe conveyed
l124l		Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
l125l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	O most unhappy strumpet!
l126l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Master, I am here entered in bond for you.
l127l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Out on thee, villain! Wherefore dost thou mad me?
l128l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Will you be bound for nothing? Be mad, good master—
l129l		Cry, “The devil!”
l130l	Luciana	God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
l131l	Adriana	Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
		(Exeunt into the Phoenix, Pinch and others carrying off Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus. The Officer, Adriana, Luciana, and the Courtesan remain)
l132l		(To the Officer)
		 Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
l133l	Officer	One Angelo, a goldsmith. Do you know him?
l134l	Adriana	I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
l135l	Officer	Two hundred ducats.
	Adriana	Say, how grows it due?
l136l	Officer	Due for a chain your husband had of him.
l137l	Adriana	He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
l138l	Courtesan	Whenas your husband all in rage today
l139l		Came to my house, and took away my ring—
l140l		The ring I saw upon his finger now—
l141l		Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
l142l	Adriana	It may be so, but I did never see it.
l143l		Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is.
l144l		I long to know the truth hereof at large.
		(Enter Antipholus of Syracuse wearing the chain and Dromio of Syracuse with their rapiers drawn)
l145l	Luciana	 God, for thy mercy, they are loose again!
l146l	Adriana	And come with naked swords. Let’s call more help
l147l		To have them bound again.
	Officer	Away, they’ll kill us!
		(All but Antipholus and Dromio run out, as fast as may be, frighted)
l148l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	 I see these witches are afraid of swords.
l149l	Dromio Of Syracuse	She that would be your wife now ran from you.
l150l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Come to the Centaur. Fetch our stuff from thence.
l151l		I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
l152l	Dromio Of Syracuse	 Faith, stay here this night. They will
l153l		surely do us no harm. You saw they speak us fair, give
l154l		us gold. Methinks they are such a gentle nation that,
l155l		but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage
l156l		of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still, and
l157l		turn witch.
l158l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	 I will not stay tonight for all the town.
l159l		Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
		(Exeunt)
	[[ACT INTERVAL]]